I did however want to post this very special tribute as an additional outlet for me to process some of the stuff I've been going through this past week. We received word on Friday evening that Jim Long had passed away. For my family this was unexpected news, we'd known he was struggling with some health issues but had no idea it was life threatening and were completely shocked to receive the phone call.
"Uncle Jim" as I've called him my whole life was one of the most influential people in my life. He and Aunt Pat were the couple that I have always held all of my relationships up against to measure them by. They had a beautiful and glowing marriage that will continue to serve as an example to me as I embark on my own marriage in just a few weeks. I always have told people I want to be old and in love just like them.
Uncle Jim was a scholar, a philosopher, a lover and a pillar of strength in my eyes. He was a profound minister of the love of Christ and always served as a reminder to me of God's presence in my every day life. Not many people do that for me these days. He had a wonderful sense of humour and adored his wife infinitely and unconditionally. He was wise, and had amazing ways of sharing his life lessons with me without judgment and with respect and love. He taught me new ways of thinking and always reminded me to consider all angles of an issue, even if I disagree with many of the angles. He always put a human face on everything, making it much more difficult to be self-righteous and arrogant when discussing and debating issues.
In trying to process my grief at losing him, I haven't been able to determine which I am more heartbroken over, having lost him, or that Aunt Pat has lost him. The two were inseparable. They worked together, played together, ministered together... everything together. I'm sure they fought, I'm sure they bickered and disagreed and got on each others' nerves, but their love was what always shone through no matter what. When they look at each other (well into their 70s) you saw a love and devotion that most people only dream of. The deepness and richness of their relationship is unlike anything I have ever witnessed, they were the very definition of soul mates. The thought of her without him brings tears to my eyes.
I know Uncle Jim would scoff (lovingly) at me sharing any of this, he was an extraordinarily humble man, but I know that if I were to tell him how much it meant to me to share it, and how I needed to do so in order to deal with my own grief he would pat my shoulder and tell me that I need to do what's in my heart.
Thursday I will travel with my family to Toronto to attend his memorial service. It will be a short and exhausting trip, we're making many sacrifices to go. Not because it's expected or demanded of us, but because for our own selfish needs we need to be there. I feel like it's the only way I'll be able to believe he's really gone, and that I won't be seeing him again. It's the only way I'll be able to express my love and compassion for Aunt Pat. I've cried a lot since Friday. I expect that's not going to end anytime soon. Uncle Jim was a beloved mentor to me, and I feel I have a hole in my heart where he has left this earth. Over time there will be healing and harmony, but today, this week, there is only sorrow.
Rest in Peace Uncle Jim, I love you so much and am so grateful for the love you have given me in my life.
