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Simon Says...

"get me the *(^##&^@ out of here!!!!"

Yep, Simon got a bath today, and I am sure paying for it.  Everything was fine until he went in the litter box... I don't know what he ate that made this such an incredible mess, but he came out stinking so bad it triggered my gag reflex, and then plopped his little body down in the middle of the kitchen floor to try and clean himself off.  Gross on more levels than I care to explore... so I thought the sink might be the least intimidating for him... after he nearly clawed all of the skin off my right palm I decided screw the sink, too many ways out.  I threw him in the tub (empty!) and closed the door (the only time I've been thankful for a door on our tub instead of a curtain!) while I tried to undo the damage in the kitchen.  I then found the one old rag we have and shampooed it up, knowing that I stood a better chance of rubbing him down with a rag than with my hand and a squeeze bottle of shampoo... at least there would be a layer between his claws and my skin...

I pray to god I got the worst of it out of his fur because I will not be making a second attempt today, that's for sure!  Poor kitty was traumatised, as were the other two who came running the second I opened the bathroom door - presumably to recover the body of their fallen brother.

I've stopped bleeding, but the apartment still stinks, and Simon keeps giving me the death stare.  I'm still not sure he's clean, but he's at least cleaner than before we started this mess.  *sigh*

Shot Through the Heart

Last night I received an email from my aunt asking for prayers for a friend of hers.  Her friend's 18 year old son had been missing overnight, and they had been informed that he had left 2 suicide notes with friends.  Tonight we received a follow up from my aunt that they found what they believe to be his body (or remains) and pending DNA confirmation, a devastated family of (now) 4 will have bury their son/brother.

I don't know these people.  I have never met them, I have never heard their names, but I grieve for them tonight.  I have been so blessed in my life to have never been directly impacted by the suicide of a loved one, but I have been indirectly impacted a few times, and it's never easy.  I have no idea what this boy's situation was, I have no concept of what drove him to act so selfishly (I'm sorry, in my opinion suicide is always selfish... some cases it may be more justified than others, but it is always selfish), but I absolutely am devastated for his family... he left behind shell shocked parents, an older brother (21) and a younger brother (7).  I cannot begin to image the pain and terror this family will have to process over the rest of their lives, or how they will find the strength to pull what's left of their family together to get through this horror.

I have very few outlets to deal with the way these things impact me, especially when they are so indirect... so here's my outlet for tonight.  Healing and Harmony to all those touched by the loss of this life... and an outpouring of love and affirmations to anyone who may be struggling with thoughts of suicide themselves... there is help out there, and no matter how much you may feel no one cares, or that you are too much of a burden to those you love... I promise you that you're wrong.  Find the help, hold out your hand and let those who love you see you through the darkness.  Please don't punish them this way.

annoyance --> insanity

I love kitties.  I love kittens.  I love my husband.  Tonight I am desperately fighting the urge to set up the aero bed out on the landing for the night.  The cats won't stop chasing each other ALL OVER, digging through the recycling, clawing up my craft projects and my hands... my husband was great until he decided to give me crap about the stuff I haven't put away yet, when he does it all the time too and I never say boo about it... then did the one thing he knows pisses me off before going to bed to read.

So I'm trying to regroup in my head, to refocus my anger and frustrations and to find an internal happy place.  The fact that my shoulder has been killing me all week isn't helping.

Grrr...

annoyances

well I just had my very first day in court.  it was crappy.  Back in December I received a ticket which was considered "impeding traffic" for parking crooked in a parking space... WITHIN THE PAINTED LINES.  Granted, it was not the most beautiful park job in the world, I was crooked in the space, but I was IN THE SPACE.  When I called to find out how much the fine was for, they told me $55 because it was impeding traffic.  I immediately requested a court date, because I was WITHIN THE PAINTED LINES...!!!!  The judge was willing to reduce the fine to $30 but wouldn't let me off completely because the officer stated he had to change lanes in order to get around the vehicle.  I do not think the officer lied, I fully believe he changed lanes.  I know factually it was not necessary to do so in order to avoid hitting my car.  Ridiculous.

No real point to this post other than to vent, because I need to move past it so I can focus on my stupid paper that's due tomorrow... I've finished reading ONE of our 20 reading assignments and the paper calls for focus on 5... meaning I still have a whole lot of reading to do before I can even start writing.  Grrrrrr...

ok, time to purge and restart.

Sick Days

Yesterday and today were sick days for me (which is usually made easier by being unemployed...).  On the down side, I've felt like crap and had to cancel some really fun plans I had for the weekend, including a really big gig Austin had last night down in Battle Creek that I'd been looking forward to all month.  Also an IKEA trip with JennJenn today that I've been wanting to do since like October.  On the plus side, I've gotten a lot of sleep, quite a bit of homework done, lots of kitty snuggle time (with all three kitties!) and almost caught up on my letter writing project; Mission 2001: 365 Letters.

Austin finally made it home this afternoon and we've been watching movies ever since.  We started with A Mighty Wind - a treat I got us when I found a used copy on Amazon for (wait for it...) $0.11... I KNOW!!  Now we're rounding the bend on Star Wars: Episode IV.  This one takes me back... I watched Star Wars so many times growing up - eternal classics, I'm so glad to finally own a set!!

Poor Austin has to go to work tonight at 01.30... I hope it won't be too long of a job for him.  I can't believe how late it feels right now (only 19.00 as I write this).  We have to keep our blinds closed most of the time to help keep the cold air out (our windows are nearly prehistoric!) so it always feels darker than it is anyway.  Add onto that the fact that I've been in my pjs and on the couch all day, and I feel like it should be almost midnight.

I'm hoping to be feeling better by tomorrow... a good friend of mine from high school is getting married and tomorrow is her bridal shower.  I really don't want to have to scrap the entire weekend so I'm really hoping to make it to that!

Kitty Love

For those of you who haven't heard the news yet, Austin & I adopted two ADORABLE kittens last week!  We went to the Humane Society with the intent of adopting one playmate for Smudge who has been terribly lonely since we moved her into the apartment with us (she's used to sharing a home with four adults another cat and a golden retriever!)  When we arrived we were instantly drawn to this playful stripey kitten named Jude (we kept his name), but he was in a kennel with another little kitten... a black fluffy thing who is now named Simon (the name they gave him was dumb so we changed it)  Austin didn't like the idea of separating brothers, so when I suggested we look at some of the other kitties there, he asked "why don't we just get them both?"  First I felt his forehead for a fever, then I asked him to repeat himself, then I asked if he was serious.  For a man who has resisted and resisted me on getting another cat, he was now suggesting we adopt two!  Needless to say, we are now a 3 cat home... and I'm thrilled :o)  Simon & Jude are so much fun to watch and snuggle with, and Smudge is actually almost getting along with them already!  It's been one of the smoothest critter transitions I've ever witnessed, I'm so excited by it!  The boys go to the vet this afternoon for their first post-adoption check up, and I'm glad for it as they've been sneezing a LOT and I think they may have picked up upper respiratory infections at the Humane Society (very common in kennel situations) I just want to get it under control before Smudge picks it up too!

 Momma Catz - Smudge!

the babies... Jude (bottom) and Simon (top)

Patience

Well this morning marked my first job interview in almost 7 months.  While I think I did the best that I could have (we can always critique and tweak, but I think I did just fine) I had a really really hard time reading the interviewers, so I walked out of their office feeling really unsure of how it went.  We shall see.  They are hoping to extend an offer to a candidate before they close up shop for Christmas, with the intent of the new employee starting in January, so that would be a good set up if I get it.  I'm hopeful, but I certainly don't feel like I've got it in the bag, so to speak.

Thankfulness part quatro

Today I am thankful for OUR COUCH!!!!  My husband's aunt is moving and offered us her loveseat.  We had not yet purchased a couch and I have sorely been missing having one.  Our options for snuggling while watching a movie are a pile of blankets craning our necks to see over the coffee table, or cramming into an armchair.  Both options are only comfortable for about 30 minutes.  Needless to say I am SOOOOOOO thankful to have a couch now :o)

Thankfulness pt drie

Today is a dreary, dreary day in Detroit.  It's wet and grey and I don't like it.  I'm already sleepy and this weather just makes me want to crawl right back into bed and stay there the rest of the day!

Instead, I am choosing to be productive!  Today I am thankful for my love and (if I may say so) talent for cooking.  Days like today are also excellent comfort food days, which means I'm seriously considering hitting up the grocery store and trying out one of my new soup recipes that I just discovered...  cooking is very therapeutic for me.  I love being in the kitchen and smelling the smells, tasting the ingredients as they go in and come together in a beautiful meal, and I love the joy it brings to those who eat it.  My husband and I have been trying to get into healthier eating habits and so it poses a challenge to me when I'm cooking to make better choices when I plan out the meal, or decide whether or not to add more salt or butter or what have you.  It's also reawakened my love of veggies... I just wish we could find a good local farmer's market or something rather than having to spend a ton of money at a gourmet grocery store for nutritious and fresh produce!

Thankfulness pt. deux

Today I woke up before the alarm.  This has happened in my life approximately never.  Ok maybe once.  I have been under a lot of stress the last several months, and it has taken a toll on my sleeping.  I don't remember waking up one single time last night, until I woke up a little before the alarm was set to go off.  I feel great!  My husband and I enjoyed some time together watching The Sting, sorting through the paper and eating breakfast.  Now it's time to get ready for church, something I haven't done in awhile but promised my mum I would this week, so it's been a nice morning.  Not rushed, not stressed, very enjoyable, and I am thankful for it!

Thankfulness

So those of you who know me know that when it comes to Thanksgiving, I'm not generally a fan.  Thanksgiving in my family has never been a huge thing, sure we do the meal and dress up, but my thanksgivings usually held more frustration and boredom than cozy happy memories, so in general, I'm more of a Chandler when it comes to the day of the turkey.

This year I'm trying to make it better, even though I probably won't see my husband most of the day since he'll be setting up and tearing down the local parade downtown, so instead I'll be at my aunts most likely eating and trying to avoid being sucked into getting my butt beat sorely by my younger cousin on the Wii.

In an effort to show that I'm growing as a person, I'm going to try and post a daily entry from now until thanksgiving reflecting on the purpose behind the holiday and what I can be thankful for in my own life.

So today, I am thankful for my wonderful husband.  He has been a real support for me during my tumultuous past months, and I really truly enjoy his company.  He's been sick the last few days, but not so sick that he isn't bored out of his mind, so we've spent a lot of time together with me trying to keep him entertained.  He loved my 30 second pantomime of Macbeth start to finish, we read Paul McCartney's High in the Clouds together, and today I played my guitar (first time in years!) while he told me which chords came next for Rachel's Song.  I'm thankful that I have him in my life, and my love for him grows daily.

I'm in a Book!

my dear friend and long time photography mentor, Jim Doty Jr. has published a book, and I'm in it!  He told me about the book this past spring, and had me officially sign off on the possibility of having my photo included in the final copy.  He did NOT tell me it was in the "for Dummies" series and actually a super huge deal!!  I'm so proud of him!  I haven't been in a store yet to see the photo of me, but he told me it's in there, so check it out.  And my photog friends pick up a copy of the book, I will be!

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0470647620/jimdotycom-20

Changes Part 1

So I've felt a burning need to make some changes in my life recently (like I haven't had enough I guess?).  I guess I've been feeling the need to make tangible changes that I can control completely because there has been so much chaos in my life these past several months.  In that spirit, I bought myself some hair dye the other day, and tonight was the night!  It's a bit darker than I expected it to be, so we'll see how it looks in a few days (it's supposed to be a dark auburny red but it kinda looks black with a red tinge at the moment).  In any case it made a difference, even if I'm still the same person on the inside, it helped shift my mood a bit and for that I'm glad.

 

new directions

given the chaos that has been my life these past several months, I have done some reflecting on the use and purpose of this blog.  I used to be really into journaling.  It was a great form of therapy for me, and I used to use blogs with a similar intent.  As I shifted the focus of this blog to my photography, I felt I lost the ability to use it as a journaling platform as I try to keep a relative separation between personal and professional spheres.  As a result, I have created a new photography blog to share with you all and invite you to check it out at
http://shutterbugdesign.blogspot.com/


I'm hoping it will become a far more interactive forum for my artsy community friends, and invite you to post your reactions, own related works, etc to help us all continue to grow, learn, and be inspired by each other!  This blog will return to being a more private forum where I can share updates on my life with friends and family, and vent when I need to about various life issues, without feeling like I am alienating my professional sphere.


Thanks for your readership and bloggy friendship, I hope to see you at the new spot!

A Tribute

Welcome back readers.  I apologise for the very long break I've taken from this blog, and warn you that it will continue for at least a couple of months after this posting, but I am trying to decide exactly what I want to do with this space and haven't quite settled yet.  Also, with grad school, my wedding and honeymoon all taking place in the next 4 weeks, I'm kinda preoccupied.

I did however want to post this very special tribute as an additional outlet for me to process some of the stuff I've been going through this past week.  We received word on Friday evening that Jim Long had passed away.  For my family this was unexpected news, we'd known he was struggling with some health issues but had no idea it was life threatening and were completely shocked to receive the phone call.

"Uncle Jim" as I've called him my whole life was one of the most influential people in my life.  He and Aunt Pat were the couple that I have always held all of my relationships up against to measure them by.  They had a beautiful and glowing marriage that will continue to serve as an example to me as I embark on my own marriage in just a few weeks.  I always have told people I want to be old and in love just like them.

Uncle Jim was a scholar, a philosopher, a lover and a pillar of strength in my eyes.  He was a profound minister of the love of Christ and always served as a reminder to me of God's presence in my every day life.  Not many people do that for me these days.  He had a wonderful sense of humour and adored his wife infinitely and unconditionally.  He was wise, and had amazing ways of sharing his life lessons with me without judgment and with respect and love.  He taught me new ways of thinking and always reminded me to consider all angles of an issue, even if I disagree with many of the angles.  He always put a human face on everything, making it much more difficult to be self-righteous and arrogant when discussing and debating issues.

In trying to process my grief at losing him, I haven't been able to determine which I am more heartbroken over, having lost him, or that Aunt Pat has lost him.  The two were inseparable.  They worked together, played together, ministered together... everything together.  I'm sure they fought, I'm sure they bickered and disagreed and got on each others' nerves, but their love was what always shone through no matter what.  When they look at each other (well into their 70s) you saw a love and devotion that most people only dream of.  The deepness and richness of their relationship is unlike anything I have ever witnessed, they were the very definition of soul mates.  The thought of her without him brings tears to my eyes.

I know Uncle Jim would scoff (lovingly) at me sharing any of this, he was an extraordinarily humble man, but I know that if I were to tell him how much it meant to me to share it, and how I needed to do so in order to deal with my own grief he would pat my shoulder and tell me that I need to do what's in my heart.

Thursday I will travel with my family to Toronto to attend his memorial service.  It will be a short and exhausting trip, we're making many sacrifices to go.  Not because it's expected or demanded of us, but because for our own selfish needs we need to be there.  I feel like it's the only way I'll be able to believe he's really gone, and that I won't be seeing him again.  It's the only way I'll be able to express my love and compassion for Aunt Pat.  I've cried a lot since Friday.  I expect that's not going to end anytime soon.  Uncle Jim was a beloved mentor to me, and I feel I have a hole in my heart where he has left this earth.  Over time there will be healing and harmony, but today, this week, there is only sorrow.

Rest in Peace Uncle Jim, I love you so much and am so grateful for the love you have given me in my life.

Senior Portraits

I have now had the pleasure of working with two outstanding seniors to shoot their senior portraits and had an absolute blast doing so!  I thought I would share a couple of them with my readers before I get the portfolio album available online... you can view a larger sampling on our facebook page too!

I am still offering graduating seniors the opportunity to earn free portraits from me, so if you know someone in the Detroit Area who would like to earn a little cash and help me spread the word about what I do, send them my way!

 

Present for Baby

 

Attended a baby shower over the weekend for a good friend.  Made a few onesies as a gift along with a bib and was really pleased with the way they turned out.  This one I've done similar designs before, but added the piggy bank on the back, think I like that better than previous versions.  Need to get the new designs up on the storefront, but wanted to share here also :o)

Life updates

So I know I don't actually "blog" much... and haven't really for years minus the photo of the day bit, but I'm feeling the need so enjoy or skip, it's entirely up to you :o)

Well I've been busy these past few weeks!  I attended this year's Community of Christ World Conference for a week in Independence, MO.  It was great to get down there again!  Ever since my dad stopped working for the church full time I've really been out of the social loop and it was really awesome to reconnect with so many old friends that I hadn't seen in 5-6 years!  My mum and I were there together while the guys held down the fort at home.  We stayed with our old neighbours from when we lived down there and my girl Erin was actually living back home so I was *thrilled* to spend some time catching up with her!

Getting back threw me back into the chaos that has become my life these past few months... working at the store, catching up on time with Austin, pursuing job leads (still no success on that front) and trying to get new photography clients to boost the income while I'm job hunting.  Thankfully I've been able to use wedding plans to distract me enough to keep from getting depressed and completely overwhelmed.

Austin and I have made really good progress and are actually almost completely done with the major planning components!  The last big one is just nailing down the catering details.  We know exactly what we want we're just trying to determine the best way of getting it :o)  We've got the florist, all the musicians, the tent with table & chairs setup, the bulk of the decorations, and (of course!) the photographer, so I feel really really good about it all.  Our good friends Steve & Cherry (who are officiating at the wedding) were up for a long weekend (left today) and spent some time with us going through some of the pre-marital discussions, etc and that was great.  Very reassuring :o)  It was wonderful to spend some time with them for a few days without worrying about Austin's music schedule and meetings... they live just outside Nashville and we normally stay with them on our trips down there.

My job search continues and I try hard not to get too depressed about it.  I've only had one interview, and several rejection letters, but even more "no responses" which sucks.  I believe the right one is out there for me, but with a wedding and whole new life fast approaching it sometimes seems much tougher to stay positive.  I'll get there eventually.  In the meantime I'm working a few days a week cashiering at a local grocery chain, and also continuing to work on getting new photography clients (have a couple lined up for next month so that's encouraging!)

I officially applied for grad school yesterday.  It's scary and exciting all at once.  I'm not sure if I will be accepted, or if I will be able to come up with the funding even if I am accepted, but it's a step in the right direction I think.  I'm excited about the possibilities and hope it works out.  The program is a Masters of Social Justice at Marygrove College in Detroit.  We shall see what happens.

Well I think I've wasted enough of my day now, time to get back to my to do list :o)  Tough with all this rain though that's for sure!  Definitely a curl up in bed with a blanket, hot tea and good book kind of day here in the D.  Ah well... onward!

Taking a Break

Hello dear readers!  Just wanted to let everyone know that I will be taking a break from the blog while I gear up for and attend my church's world conference!  I'm hoping to have great photo opps while I'm there, so there will be plenty of new material for the blog when I get back!  Wishing everyone a wonderful week!

Garden Days

I love spring!  Ok honestly I love all seasons... but spring always bring such freshness and colour!  This photo was taken in our garden last year.  The birdbath was a gift from my aunt and uncle awhile ago and it tends to migrate through the yard from year to year depending on what dad's decided to do that year.  He's so great with gardening and landscaping, so the yard always looks stellar!  I'm really looking forward to seeing what he does this year :o)  And to starting our vegetable garden!

Boo Radley's Apple Tree

I love apples.  Especially McIntosh apples.  These apples are not McIntosh apples, but they are happy and bright looking apples so I'm sharing them with you all!  I took this photo in Dearborn at the end of last summer while I was shooting an event for a client... who says I can't build my portfolio, my blog and my business all at once?  :o)

Greasy Webs

Spiderwebs are super cool, and can be very tricky to capture in a photo.  This particular one looked as though it had been sprayed with a very fine mist of grease and then coated in dust... or something.  It looked sooo funky I just had to hang out for awhile and shoot until I came up with this shot.  It was taken in Redford at one of Austin's gigs last summer.

Wedding Venue Sneak Peek

  This is where Austin and I will be getting married in September (without the garbage can chillin' stage left...)  It may not be the most impressive work of photography, but it was the best church photo I could dig up for a Good Friday shot to share with you... since I'm sick in bed and can't go digging in my office to find some of my older work.  I'm excited about the wedding and this building is so beautiful, so I'm glad we were able to settle on it for the ceremony.  Anyway, here's your sneak peek on that :o)  Wishing you all a lovely Easter Weekend, stay tuned!

April Showers

T

This photo was taken on Mackinac Island last spring.  It was FREEZING on the island that weekend but I still managed to get some nice springy shots like this one.  All the rain made for some vibrant colours and fun water droplets on the flowers.  I may be sick in bed today, but still looking forward to the patterns of spring emerging!

Photo of the Day: I'm a Pepper

I have a passion for food.  I have a passion for cooking.  I have a passion for fresh produce.  This photo is a tribute to all three of these.  :o)  Jared and I have had a garden for several years now and we always grow lots of varieties of peppers.  I love using them to make fresh salsa and putting them in sauces, stir fries, etc.  I really should learn not to post food photos unless I have a snack in front of me, because they always make me hungry!  :o)

Photo of the Day: Your Moment of Zen

This zen pile of rocks was sitting along the banks of one of the rivers running through the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee.  Austin and I stopped to take some photos and discovered a whole group of these little towers.  Very zen, loved it.

Photo of the Day: Sewer Flora

I am always intrigued by plants that are able to grow in seemingly impossible places.  I always find them inspirational in a way.  When I lived in the Journey House, we had a plant growing up through a crack in the fireplace for awhile.  I can't recall if I ever did get a photo of it or not, but it was super cool, I used to stare at it for hours instead of studying, lol!

Photo of the Day: Geometry

This photo was taken in an airport.  I honestly can't remember which one now... but I was on a layover and just loved this terminal.  It let in so much light and had such a neat effect, it was almost even a little dizzying but I still liked it :o)

Photo of the Day: No Painted Ponies Here!

Downtown Detroit has really worked hard over the last decade to revitalize the downtown area and create a place that people WANT to go, and feel safe and comfortable doing so.  One of the things they did was create the Riverfront which includes beautiful fountains, landscaping, walking paths, etc, and this very cool Michigan carousel.  All of the creatures are native to Michigan's wetlands and marshlands (even the mermaid lol!)