Something you crave.

I often crave carbs... pasta, rice, cereal, bread... if I have a (food) craving it's most often some form of this.  I also often crave sushi, because it's delicious, and because I can't afford to eat it even half as often as I like.

On a non-food level, I am currently craving acceptance.  I have been hunting for full time employment for over a year now, and it feels like everytime I get my hopes up about a position I interview for, they come crashing down around me.  It's so frustrating because the most frequent reason I get for them not choosing me is "you're just overqualified so we went with someone else"  I have been very selective in my search, trying to find companies that I intend to stick with for a long time, so to have them turn down someone who is interested in being a long-term player because they are in fact better than what they were looking for just blows my mind.  Do they think I'm lying to them?  Do they not believe me when I tell them that I'm not a salary or title chaser?  It's soooo frustrating.

I have always been a pretty confident person.  I was raised to believe in myself and my skills, and I have lived a life that has fostered that confidence.  I've failed plenty, but I guess I'm usually just pretty good at learning from failure and growing from it, but even my once rock solid self confidence is beginning to quake.  And so I crave acceptance.  It's bleeding into every aspect of my life... I need my family to tell me how helpful I am, I need my husband to constantly shower me with affection and gratitude for all I do around the house or to help with his music career, I need my friends to continuously bolster my ego and tell me that perfect job is right around the corner.  I need employers to stop telling me how awesome I am and SHOW me by giving me a chance to rock the job.  As a pretty fiercely independent individual, I struggle deeply with feeling so emotionally dependent on others right now.  I hate feeling like I have to have their approval and admiration in order to feel good about myself.  And yet I'm caught in this web and don't quite know how to get out of it.

Ugh.