15 Facts about you.

1.  I legally hold 3 citizenships.  I am Canadian by birth, and have both American and Dutch citizenships (since birth) because of my parents.  The laws changed after my brother was born, and we were both grandfathered in, which means as of yet none of our passport renewals have been rejected.

2.  I have a fear and fascination with death.  I am terrified of the idea of dying and leaving my loved ones behind, and equally terrified of them leaving me, yet I am fascinated by the unknown.  Because of this I have a deep love for horror films and things that deal with death and the undead.

3.  I don't want to go back to work.  I have been unemployed for over a year now, and if there was a way I could become wealthy enough to never HAVE to work again, I would.  I like having my freedom but I hate not knowing if we will be able to make it another 6 months on our savings.  If the bills were paid without me being gainfully employed, I would probably spend more time on projects that I'm passionate about instead of worrying about the pay that does or doesn't come with it.  I think I'd do a lot of pro bono event planning for non profits.

4.  I love to travel.  I got super spoiled in my last job because I got to travel A LOT on the company dime.  Since I got laid off trips are far fewer and less extravagant.  Thankfully there was a little bit of carryover after my layoff in that I had accumulated enough airmiles to afford a great honeymoon with my husband (also thanks to the generosity of some dear friends!)  I have a list as long as my arm of the places I would still like to visit before I die... the top 3 of which are Australia/New Zealand, South Africa and New Orleans.

5.  I hate my metabolism.  I was blessed with a high one, which means I can eat anything I want and sit on my butt all day and not gain a pound.  It may seem ungrateful to some, but I hate it because it sets me up for bad eating habits and a complete lack of motivation to stay fit.  I'm in terrible shape and I have inexcusably high cholesterol for someone my age and size, yet the lack of physical signs of that in my outward appearance make it way too easy to forget and just keep on eating whatever, no matter how unhealthy it is.  Not that I want to be fat, but if eating like crap made me put on even 10 lbs I bet I'd make better choices.

6.  I am the crazy cat lady.  I LOVE kitties.  If I could keep panthers and tigers and mountain lions as pets I totally would.  3 is my limit as far as household pets, that keeps me busy enough and the expenses are still manageable, but if I had unlimited resources and unrestricted space I'd have a dozen I'm sure.  I would love to be a position someday to foster kitties for a rescue agency while they wait for new homes.

7.  I love unconditionally.  In any relationship I have with another person, I have three modes.  Hatred, indifference and love.  Some people don't get that about me.  They think if we've hung out once and I act like we're best friends that I'm being inauthentic, but if we hit it off, then I definitely hold them in high esteem and have deep emotional ties to them until they prove that they aren't worthy of that.  In romantic relationships I have had my heart literally smashed to smithereens over and over because I simply don't know how to hold back when it comes to love.  I don't mean I'm a smothering psycho, but I love deeply, wholly, and unconditionally.  Until you prove you aren't worthy.  My serious relationships that ended prior to meeting my husband did so in a single instant when something occurred that irrevocably told me that guy wasn't the one.  In both cases I can name the instant, it's like a lightswitch in me or something.  Up until that second, however I loved them completely.  I am capable of loving many people very deeply (not romantically) and sometimes people don't get that.  I don't care, I have been blessed with incredibly rich friendships because of it.

8.  I believe that all human beings are equally deserving of love, respect and dignity.  Discrimination based on anything outside of a personality trait bothers me beyond words.  If you are a jerk to me, I get to discriminate against you in my own way.  If you are gay, asian, autistic, rich, methodist, communist, whatever, that is no basis for treating someone any differently or with any less decency or respect as a human.  I find it absurd that others think this is acceptable.  I don't have to agree with your thought process or opinions, but I do not get to discount you as a person.

9.  I don't know how I would cope without my cell phone and the internet for prolonged periods of time.

10.  I get lonely when my husband goes to work.  Even if I'm being social or hanging out with friends or family, I miss him a lot during the day.

11.  Sometimes I feel like a fake.  I do things pretty well and I'm a quick study, but my year long job search has made me feel less and less confident in my skills and ability.  I worry that maybe I've just been getting by so well because people liked me.  My educational background isn't in the field I was working in (not exactly) or in the field I wish to work in (though my masters is more in that field so I'm working on it) and that has been a barrier for me in a lot of the positions I've applied for.  Sometimes I feel like now that I'm in the spotlight (with employers when I apply for positions) that they can see I've just been faking it all along and they don't want me.  In my head I know that's not true, and I do work hard and I am smart, but as time wears on it takes it's toll on my self confidence.

12.  I place a huge value on family.  Having grown up moving around so much, my family was the only constant in my life for almost all of my life so far.  As such, when things feel shaky in my family I panic.  When my mum got sick, when my dad changed careers, when I feel like the stability in my family is threatened in any way (real or imagined) I freak out.  I'm pretty good at hiding it (not healthy, I know this, I'm working on it) but it tends to throw me into overdrive in doing everything I can to "fix" things.

13.  I speak 4 languages.  English and French have been my staples, I became fluent in Dutch when we moved to Rotterdam, and I can get by in German.  I've studied Italian and desperately want to master Spanish but I haven't been able to work up the motivation to study it on my own.

14.  I love to cook.  If it weren't for the types of hours and stress associated with the food industry I would consider becoming a chef.  I love food, and I can't wait until finances allow me to go back to taking classes at culinary school for fun.  I have a chef's jacket and a knife bag and I use them all the time.  I love to go grocery shopping and to try out new techniques and recipes, I love learning how to use new ingredients and developing my palette and new flavour profiles.  90% of the time I would rather have friends over for dinner than go out to eat with them because it gives me an excuse to try something new.

15.  I want to move back to Canada.  The world is my home it seems, but lately I've been pining for my Canadian roots again.  My husband and I have discussed it in passing before and he's open to the idea, but I'm scared of uprooting us right now, and I'm scared of doing it without my family.  All of my big moves were always with them, and the thought of leaving them so far behind isn't something I'm prepared to face yet.  So here we stay, but I hope someday I will get to move back.